How to Ask for More — and Get It | Alex Carter | TED

Introduction

Negotiation can be a daunting task, whether you're asking for a raise at work or trying to resolve a family dispute. In her TED Talk, Alex Carter, a UN negotiation trainer, shares effective strategies for successful negotiations. This tutorial will guide you through her five essential tips to help you ask for more and achieve your desired outcomes.

Step 1: Shift Your Mindset

• Approach negotiations as opportunities for collaboration rather than competition.
• Recognize that both parties can benefit from the discussion, focusing on mutual gain rather than rivalry.

Step 2: Start with a Powerful Question

• Begin your negotiation by asking an open-ended question that invites dialogue.
• Example questions include:
  • "What do you think would make this situation better for both of us?"
  • "How can we work together to achieve a successful outcome?"
• This sets a positive tone and encourages a collaborative atmosphere.

Step 3: Build Relationships

• Invest time in building rapport with the other party before diving into specific requests.
• Use active listening techniques:
  • Maintain eye contact and nod to show understanding.
  • Paraphrase the other person's points to ensure clarity.
• Establishing a connection can lead to more productive outcomes.

Step 4: Prepare Your Case

• Before entering a negotiation, gather relevant information to support your request.
• Consider the following:
  • Market research on salary benchmarks if asking for a raise.
  • Examples of your achievements and contributions.
• Present your case clearly and confidently, emphasizing the value you bring.

Step 5: Be Open to Compromise

• Enter the negotiation with a flexible mindset, ready to explore alternatives.
• Identify potential areas for compromise where both parties can gain.
• Understand that the goal is to reach a solution that satisfies both sides, even if it requires some adjustments on your part.

Conclusion

Negotiating effectively requires a shift in mindset, strategic questioning, relationship building, thorough preparation, and openness to compromise. By applying Alex Carter's tips, you can approach negotiations with confidence and increase your chances of achieving your goals. Start by practicing these techniques in everyday discussions to build your skills for more significant negotiations in the future.