Never Split the Difference | Chris Voss | Talks at Google

Introduction

This tutorial outlines key negotiation tactics from Chris Voss, a former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator. Drawing from his experiences, Voss presents unconventional strategies that challenge traditional negotiation approaches. These methods can be applied in various scenarios, including workplace negotiations, business dealings, and personal interactions.

Step 1: Understand the Psychology of Negotiation

• Recognize that people are not purely rational; emotions play a crucial role.
• Acknowledge that the concept of ‘fairness’ is subjective and can be manipulated.
• Focus on the importance of understanding the counterpart's perspective to build rapport.

Step 2: Embrace the Power of “No”

• Learn to see “No” as an opportunity rather than a setback.
• Use “No” to prompt further discussion and clarify needs.
• Encourage your counterpart to express their reservations, which can lead to more fruitful negotiations.

Step 3: Tactical Empathy

• Practice active listening to truly understand the other party’s emotions and motivations.
• Reflect back what you hear to validate their feelings, using phrases like:
  • “It sounds like you’re feeling...”
  • “I can see why you might think that...”
• This technique fosters trust and opens the door for better communication.

Step 4: Labeling

• Use labeling to address emotions directly. For example:
  • “It seems like you’re concerned about...”
• This acknowledges feelings and can diffuse tension, making the counterpart more receptive.

Step 5: Create a “Yesable” Proposition

• Frame your proposal in a way that is easy for the other party to agree with.
• Make it clear how your proposal benefits them, tapping into their interests and needs.
• Use open-ended questions to guide the conversation toward agreement.

Step 6: Master the Art of the Pause

• After making a statement or proposal, remain silent. This encourages the other party to fill the silence.
• Avoid the urge to speak first; it often leads to giving away more information than necessary.

Step 7: Prepare for the Unexpected

• Anticipate potential objections and prepare responses.
• Have a clear understanding of your goals and the limits of your negotiation.
• Be flexible and willing to adapt your strategy based on the flow of conversation.

Conclusion

Negotiation is an intricate dance that requires understanding, empathy, and strategy. By applying these techniques from Chris Voss, you can enhance your negotiation skills significantly. Practice these methods in everyday interactions to build confidence and refine your approach. Consider reading Voss's book, "Never Split the Difference," for deeper insights and more comprehensive strategies.