how to speak so that people want to listen

Introduction

In this tutorial, we'll explore effective communication techniques to enhance your speaking skills so that people genuinely want to listen. Drawing from insights in the video, we'll break down practical steps to improve your social skills and speech delivery, making your conversations more engaging and impactful.

Step 1: Ditch the Hedges

• Avoid using phrases that weaken your statements. Hedging language (e.g., "I think," "maybe," "kind of") can make you sound uncertain and less confident.
• Instead, aim for directness:
  • Use clear and assertive language.
  • For example, instead of saying, "I think this might be a good idea," say, "This is a good idea."
• Practice speaking without qualifiers to build your confidence.

Step 2: Don’t Hesitate

• Eliminate pauses and filler words (like "um," "uh," or "you know") that disrupt the flow of your speech.
• To reduce hesitation:
  • Prepare your thoughts in advance before speaking.
  • If you feel stuck, take a brief pause to collect your thoughts instead of filling the silence with filler words.
• Remember that confidence in your pauses can make your speech more powerful.

Step 3: Turn Pasts into Presents

• Frame your experiences in the present tense to make your stories more immediate and engaging.
• Instead of saying, "I went to the store," try "I am at the store" to draw your listeners into the moment.
• This technique helps create a vivid picture and enhances the emotional impact of your words.

Step 4: Know When to Express Doubt

• While confidence is essential, it's also important to show vulnerability when appropriate.
• Expressing doubt can build trust and rapport:
  • Use phrases like, "I'm not sure about this part, but..." to invite discussion and collaboration.
• Balance confidence with humility to create a more relatable persona.

Conclusion

By applying these techniques—eliminating hedging language, avoiding hesitations, framing your experiences in the present, and knowing when to express doubt—you can significantly improve your communication skills. Start practicing these steps in your daily conversations to become a more compelling speaker. For further development, consider exploring courses on social skills and communication to deepen your understanding.