How to Find Yourself | The "True Self" in IFS Therapy

Introduction

This tutorial aims to guide you through the concepts of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, particularly focusing on how to reconnect with your true self. By understanding the roles of different parts within us and employing techniques to unblend from these parts, you can achieve personal growth and improve your interactions with others in a complex society.

Step 1: Understand Internal Family Systems Therapy

• Familiarize yourself with IFS therapy, which views the mind as a system of distinct parts.
• Recognize that these parts have developed defenses in response to painful or traumatic experiences.
• Learn about the concept of the "big S Self," which represents your true self, often obscured by these parts.

Step 2: Identify Your Parts

• Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to identify different parts of yourself.
• Ask yourself:
  • What thoughts dominate your mind during stressful situations?
  • Are there feelings you often suppress?
• Write down these observations to better understand your internal landscape.

Step 3: Practice Unblending From Your Parts

• Unblending involves separating your true self from the various parts that influence your behavior.
• Techniques to unblend:
  • Mindfulness: Practice being present and observing your thoughts without judgment.
  • Visualization: Imagine stepping back from a part of yourself and observing it as if it were outside you.

Step 4: Explore the Big S Self

• The big S Self is characterized by the eight C's:
  • Curiosity
  • Calmness
  • Clarity
  • Compassion
  • Courage
  • Confidence
  • Creativity
  • Connectedness
• Engage with these qualities as you work to reconnect with your true self.

Step 5: Recognize Why You Lose Connection

• Understand that external pressures, trauma, and societal expectations can lead you to become blended with your parts.
• Reflect on past experiences that may have influenced your current state of being.
• Acknowledge that losing connection is a common struggle, not a personal failing.

Step 6: Learn About Neural Integration

• Familiarize yourself with the concept of neural integration, which explains how different parts of the brain work together.
• Recognize that unblending can lead to better mental health by promoting neural integration and reducing internal conflict.
• Consider practices that foster this integration, such as:
  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Guided meditations for self-discovery

Step 7: Reconnect for Personal and Societal Growth

• Understand that reconnecting with your true self is essential not only for personal development but also for improving societal interactions.
• Engage in community discussions, workshops, or therapy groups to foster collaboration and understanding.
• Practice empathy and open-mindedness in your interactions with others.

Conclusion

Reconnecting with your true self through IFS therapy involves understanding your internal parts, practicing unblending, and embracing the qualities of your big S Self. By applying these steps, you can foster personal growth and enhance your contributions to society. Consider exploring further resources, attending workshops, or seeking professional guidance to deepen your journey with IFS therapy.