6 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD (with Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D.)

Introduction

Raising a child with ADHD can be challenging, but understanding key principles can make a significant difference. This tutorial outlines six fundamental actions to help you nurture your child’s unique abilities, foster their independence, and create a supportive environment. These principles, based on insights from Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D., will guide you in accepting your child, setting them up for success, and practicing forgiveness.

Step 1: Understand ADHD

• Educate yourself about ADHD and its effects on behavior, learning, and emotional regulation.
• Recognize that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, which means it affects the brain's development and functioning.
• Familiarize yourself with the symptoms, including inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
• Accept that ADHD is part of your child's identity, and embracing this can help you support them better.

Step 2: Be a Shepherd, Not an Engineer

• Shift your perspective from trying to control every aspect of your child's life (engineering) to guiding them (shepherding).
• Focus on building a strong relationship based on trust and respect.
• Encourage independence by allowing your child to make choices within a structured environment.
• Provide support and guidance rather than attempting to fix every problem.

Step 3: Use Keys for Success

• Identify your child’s strengths and interests to tailor your parenting strategies effectively.
• Create a consistent routine that helps your child feel secure and understand expectations.
• Break tasks into manageable steps to reduce overwhelm and increase the likelihood of success.
• Use positive reinforcement to encourage desirable behaviors and celebrate small achievements.

Step 4: Make Time Real

• Help your child understand the concept of time by using visual aids like timers or clocks.
• Incorporate time management tools, such as schedules or planners, to assist them in organizing their day.
• Use reminders and prompts to help your child stay on track with tasks and responsibilities.
• Be mindful of their unique perception of time and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Step 5: Improve Working Memory

• Recognize that children with ADHD often struggle with working memory, which affects their ability to hold and manipulate information.
• Use strategies to enhance working memory, such as:
  • Repeating instructions or information.
  • Utilizing visual aids and written reminders.
  • Encouraging note-taking or the use of digital tools for organization.
• Practice exercises that can strengthen their memory skills over time.

Step 6: Practice Forgiveness

• Understand that mistakes will happen, both for you and your child.
• Cultivate a forgiving atmosphere where errors are viewed as learning opportunities rather than failures.
• Model forgiveness in your interactions, showing that it’s okay to make mistakes and move forward.
• Communicate openly about challenges and encourage your child to express their feelings.

Conclusion

Raising a child with ADHD involves understanding their unique needs and adapting your parenting approach accordingly. By embracing these six principles—understanding ADHD, guiding rather than controlling, focusing on strengths, making time tangible, improving memory, and practicing forgiveness—you can create a supportive environment that helps your child thrive. As a next step, consider exploring additional resources, such as the free guide to raising a child with ADHD, to deepen your knowledge and support strategies.