Never Split The Difference | Chris Voss | TEDxUniversityofNevada

Introduction

This tutorial is designed to help you understand and apply the negotiation techniques shared by Chris Voss, a former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator. Drawing from his book "Never Split The Difference," Voss emphasizes the importance of tactical empathy in negotiations, enabling you to achieve better outcomes while maintaining positive relationships. Whether in personal or professional settings, these strategies can transform your approach to negotiation.

Step 1: Understand Tactical Empathy

Tactical empathy involves recognizing and validating the emotions of others to influence outcomes positively. Here’s how to implement it:

• Listen Actively: Pay close attention to what the other person is saying. This establishes trust and makes them feel heard.
• Acknowledge Feelings: Validate their emotions by reflecting their feelings back to them. For example, saying "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated" shows you understand their perspective.
• Use Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. This can uncover underlying issues and interests.

Step 2: Create a Connection

Building rapport is vital for effective negotiation. Follow these steps to establish a connection:

• Find Common Ground: Look for shared interests or experiences to create a bond. This can be as simple as discussing mutual hobbies or professional interests.
• Mirror Body Language: Subtly mimic the other person's body language to create familiarity and comfort. This can help lower defenses and foster collaboration.
• Introduce Yourself: Share a bit about your background and experiences to make yourself relatable. This builds trust and opens the door for honest communication.

Step 3: Use the "Accusation Audit"

Before entering a negotiation, address potential objections the other party might have. This preemptive strategy can ease tensions:

• List Objections: Write down what the other party may think or say against your position.
• Address Concerns: Start the conversation by acknowledging these objections. For example, "You might think that my proposal is too high, and I understand why that might concern you."
• Reframe the Narrative: After addressing the concerns, pivot to the benefits of your proposal, reinforcing the value it brings.

Step 4: Employ the "No Deal" Approach

Adopting a mindset that "no deal is better than a bad deal" can empower your negotiation strategy:

• Set Clear Limits: Know your bottom line or the point at which you will walk away. This strengthens your position.
• Communicate Willingness to Walk Away: Subtly indicate that you are not desperate for the deal. This can shift power dynamics in your favor.
• Stay Calm Under Pressure: Maintain composure if negotiations get tense. This can discourage aggressive tactics from the other party.

Step 5: Practice Active Listening

Effective negotiation relies heavily on listening. Here’s how to enhance your active listening skills:

• Be Present: Focus entirely on the speaker without distractions. This shows respect and increases the likelihood they will reciprocate.
• Paraphrase and Summarize: Repeat back what you’ve heard to confirm understanding. This also provides an opportunity to clarify any misunderstandings.
• Use Silence: Don't rush to fill pauses; silence can encourage the other party to share more information.

Conclusion

Chris Voss's negotiation techniques emphasize the importance of empathy, connection, and strategic communication. By implementing tactical empathy, building rapport, addressing objections proactively, and practicing active listening, you can enhance your negotiation skills significantly. Consider applying these principles in your next negotiation scenario, and remember that effective negotiation is about securing positive outcomes while maintaining relationships.