You Don't 'Lack Follow Through' - 5 Signs You're Self-Regulating Through Future Fantasies

How to Stop Self-Regulating Through Future Fantasies

Step 1: Recognize the Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

• Understand the importance of distinguishing between a concrete actionable plan and a fantasy about the future.
• Reflect on whether your goals and plans are realistic and achievable in the present moment.
• Acknowledge the potential impact of confusing fantasy and reality on your ability to follow through.

Step 2: Assess Your Goal Orientation

• Evaluate whether you are overly future-oriented and lacking present moment enjoyment.
• Consider if you are using fantasies about the future to escape from current unhappiness.
• Reflect on the balance between optimism for the future and engagement with the present.

Step 3: Identify Signs of Self-Regulatory Fantasies

• Notice if you are constantly in the ideation phase without executing on your ideas.
• Be aware of toxic shame or negative self-image hindering your progress.
• Practice being present in the moment to take the necessary steps towards your goals.

Step 4: Visualize Realistic Future Scenarios

• Picture the day-to-day reality of achieving your goals, not just the end result.
• Consider the challenges and trade-offs that come with realizing your dreams.
• Reflect on whether you are willing to face and solve the problems that accompany your aspirations.

Step 5: Embrace Present Moment Awareness

• Stay open to feedback and constructive criticism about your plans.
• Avoid becoming defensive when discussing your goals with others.
• Focus on building a life you want by taking concrete actions in the next 24 to 72 hours.

Step 6: Embrace Your Authentic Self

• Accept that the future version of yourself should not be the only authentic version.
• Learn to integrate and accept all aspects of your current self on the journey towards your goals.
• Understand that achieving success does not eliminate human experiences like shame, pain, and insecurity.

Step 7: Choose the Right Types of Problems

• Select goals that align with your authentic self and values.
• Embrace the idea that a fulfilling life involves continuous problem-solving and growth.
• Strive to enjoy the journey towards your goals by engaging with challenges that resonate with your true self.

By following these steps, you can shift from self-regulating through future fantasies to creating realistic plans that lead to meaningful progress and personal growth.