NLP LECTURE: SPEED ATTRACTION - How To Make Someone Love You In 20 Minutes Or Less

Introduction

This tutorial is designed to help you understand how to create attraction and emotional connections with others in a short amount of time, specifically using techniques from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Dr. David Snyder outlines a method involving three simple questions that can potentially make someone feel attracted to you within 15 to 20 minutes. This guide will walk you through these steps and provide practical advice to enhance your interpersonal connections.

Step 1: Understand the Three Magic Questions

The three magic questions fall under three categories, aimed at creating a deeper emotional connection. These questions are non-threatening and help you discover shared values and experiences.

1. Location Occasion Questions

   • Start with open-ended questions related to the current environment.
   • Example: “What brought you here today?” or “What do you think about the band/food/venue?”
   • The goal is to get the other person talking and to learn about their interests and motivations.

2. Career and Passion Questions

   • Transition to questions about the person’s career and passions.
   • Ask: “What inspired you to pursue that career?” or “What do you love most about what you do?”
   • Focus on their enthusiasm and watch how they light up when discussing their passions.

3. Past Pleasant Experiences Questions

   • Delve into childhood and positive memories.
   • Ask: “What did you love to do as a child?” or “What was your favorite childhood game?”
   • This helps to evoke nostalgia, creating a deeper emotional bond.

Step 2: Create a Comfortable Atmosphere

• Approach with a warm smile and maintain positive eye contact.
• Use open body language to signal that you are approachable and engaged.
• Ensure your tone is friendly and non-judgmental to make the other person feel at ease.

Step 3: Actively Listen and Reflect

• As the other person shares, actively listen and reflect back their key phrases.
• Use their words when discussing your own experiences to create a sense of understanding and connection.
• Avoid paraphrasing; instead, echo their exact words to show you are truly listening.

Step 4: Be Willing to Walk Away

• Throughout the interaction, continuously assess if the person meets your criteria for connection.
• If they do not pass your “tests” (i.e., if you feel a lack of chemistry or shared values), be prepared to gracefully exit the conversation.
• Remember, you are also evaluating whether this person is someone you want to invest time in.

Step 5: Practice and Apply

• Practice these techniques in various social settings to become more comfortable.
• Start with low-stakes interactions, like at a coffee shop or a networking event, before applying them in more significant contexts.
• Consistently reflect on your conversations and adjust your approach based on what resonates with others.

Conclusion

By mastering the three magic questions and applying the principles of active listening and reflection, you can create meaningful connections in a short amount of time. Focus on creating a comfortable environment, being genuinely interested in the other person's experiences, and being willing to walk away if the connection isn't there. With practice, these techniques can enhance your ability to attract and connect with others authentically.