Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage | Paul Friedman

Introduction

This tutorial provides essential questions to ask your partner before marriage, based on insights from Paul Friedman. Engaging in these discussions can enhance your understanding of each other and ensure alignment in values and expectations, ultimately paving the way for a happier marriage.

Step 1: Identify Core Values

• Reflect on what values are most important to you.
• Make a list of these values, such as:
  • Belief in God or spirituality
  • Political affiliations
  • Views on family and parenting
• Discuss these values with your partner to ensure compatibility.

Step 2: Discuss Lifestyle Choices

• Address lifestyle habits that may impact your relationship:
  • Do you or your partner use substances (e.g., smoking pot)?
  • What are your views on drug use?
• Be open and honest about your habits and expectations.

Step 3: Talk About Future Aspirations

• Have a conversation about your future goals:
  • How many children do you want?
  • What career goals do you each have?
  • Are you planning to work together or separately?
• Understand each other’s ambitions and how they fit into a shared future.

Step 4: Explore Financial Expectations

• Discuss financial matters openly:
  • How do you plan to manage finances together?
  • What are your income expectations?
  • Will one partner stay home, or will both work?
• Establish a mutual understanding of financial responsibilities.

Step 5: Address Sensitive Topics

• Tackle potentially divisive issues:
  • Discuss views on abortion and family planning.
  • Talk about how you both feel towards other important social issues.
• Create a safe space where both partners can express their opinions without judgment.

Step 6: Create a Questions List

• Compile a list of important questions to ask each other. Consider using resources such as:
  • Online guides about premarital questions.
• Exchange your lists with your partner and discuss them thoroughly.

Step 7: Revisit Conversations Regularly

• Understand that discussions should be ongoing:
  • Revisit these conversations as your relationship progresses.
  • Be open to adapting your views as you grow together.

Conclusion

Asking the right questions before marriage can significantly influence the success of your relationship. By exploring values, lifestyle choices, future aspirations, financial expectations, and sensitive topics, you can create a solid foundation for your marriage. Take your time to engage in these discussions and ensure both partners feel heard and respected.